Resolve Conflict Before Rest: Don’t Go to Bed Angry

When it comes to relationships, conflict is inevitable. Disagreements on various issues ranging from family, career, and finances are bound to happen. At times, one partner may feel wronged or misunderstood, and this can cause friction leading to arguments.

Experts advise that couples should resolve conflict before getting some rest, to avoid going to bed when angry. This concept emphasizes the importance of clearing misunderstandings, apologies, and seeking solutions before bedtime. Here, we will explore the reasons why this technique is effective and various strategies couples can use to resolve their conflicts.

Why resolve conflict before rest?

1. Avoiding Resentment
   Going to bed angry can result in long-term resentment in a relationship. Often, when one partner is upset, they tend to bottle up their feelings and thoughts. When this happens, the chances are that the issue will linger, and the hurt feelings may fester. Over time, this resentment can build up and become a barrier between the partners.
2. Avoiding Insomnia
   When you go to bed angry, your body can release stress hormones that can disrupt your sleep. This, in turn, can lead to insomnia and other sleep disorders. As a result, you may wake up feeling groggy and unrefreshed. Consequently, this may cause irritability, increased stress levels, and further strain on your relationship.
3. Mental Health
   Arguments and conflict can cause emotional distress. Unresolved conflict can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. By dealing with conflicts before bed, partners can avoid negative thought patterns. This can help them feel happier and more secure in their relationships, promoting stronger connections and personal wellness.

Strategies to resolve conflict before rest

1. Listening
   Most conflicts arise due to misunderstandings. The key to resolving conflicts is to actively listen to the other person’s viewpoint. Instead of focusing on what you want to say in response, give your partner your uninterrupted attention and focus on what they are expressing. Paying attention to each other’s needs and feelings makes it easier to de-escalate arguments.
2. Communicate Effectively
   Validating your partner’s feelings can go a long way in resolving conflicts. A simple apology can help de-escalate arguments and promote forgiveness. Effective communication can mean using ‘I’ statements instead of ‘you’ statements. For instance, instead of ‘you did x,’ it’s better to say, ‘When x happened, I felt y.’ Also, active listening is vital to communicate feelings effectively. By listening actively to your partner’s concerns, you can understand their perspective more clearly, allowing you to respond appropriately. Practice communicating your feelings constructively, and you can avoid resentment and build a stronger connection with your partner.
3. Take breaks
   Sometimes, disagreements can escalate, and emotions can run high. It’s essential to recognize when you or your partner needs a break. Stepping back from a situation when you feel angry or upset can help you cool off, reflect on the situation, and approach it more calmly.
4. Find common ground
   During a conflict, finding common ground can be difficult. However, it’s essential to identify and acknowledge shared needs or beliefs with your partner. Learning to compromise and find solutions that benefit both partners can be the key to resolving conflicts. It is imperative to focus on solving the problem and not engaging in a power struggle to prove oneself right.
5. Seek a third opinion
   If resolving an issue with your partner becomes challenging, it may be helpful to seek the help of a therapist or counselor. Besides providing an objective perspective on the conflict, a therapist can teach strategies to communicate and resolve conflicts more effectively.
6. Practice forgiveness
   Letting go of past grudges and choosing to forgive your partner can help build trust and promote a healthier relationship. Forgiveness is essential in reducing emotional distress and avoiding resentment.
7. Commit to change
   After resolving conflicts, there’s a need to commit to changing patterns of behavior that caused disagreements in the first place. Reflecting on solutions and adopting new behaviors is essential. This can promote a healthy, respectful dialogue and increase the quality of intimacy in the relationship.

Conclusion

In summary, resolving conflict before rest is vital in avoiding long-term resentment, mental health issues, and sleep-related disorders. Practicing active listening, effective communication, taking breaks, finding common ground, seeking a third opinion, practicing forgiveness, and committing to change can help couples resolve conflicts before going to bed. These strategies create connections, promote respect, and enhance intimacy in the relationship. Ultimately, resolving conflicts before bed can lead to healthier, more fulfilling relationships.