Love Without Obligation: How to Build a Healthy Relationship

Love is perhaps one of the most complex experiences one can have in life, equally fulfilling and devastating. Without a healthy approach to it, individuals can end up feeling hurt, disappointed, and alone, with an obligation to someone they love only making things worse. Thus, in this article, we will highlight what it takes to build and maintain a healthy relationship— one that has no obligation but is solely based on love.

Understand the Control and Obligation Paradox

The paradox of control and obligation arises when individuals start doing things for their loved ones out of control or obligation instead of love. This paradox can cause relationships to become toxic, and individuals find it challenging to establish meaningful bonds with each other. The key to a thriving relationship is to understand that love cannot grow out of control or obligation. It is a mutual and organic feeling that should grow effortlessly.

When individuals start to feel responsible for their partner’s emotions or decisions, or when resentment arises out of obligation, it is essential to reassess the situation and take a good hard look at themselves.

Reassess Yourself

The first step in building a healthy relationship without obligation is to assess oneself and one’s behavior. Many individuals unconsciously become people-pleasers and do anything for their partners to get their approval, which gives the other person a sense of control and causes feelings of resentment within oneself. Self-awareness is the key to avoiding this trap.

The first step is to prioritize one’s feelings and define boundaries, preferences, and what makes one happy. When individuals understand their preferences and make them known, it eliminates the guilt and obligation that can come with a relationship. While individuals can still be affectionate and do things for their partner, it is genuine and not out of obligation.

Set Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is vital for a satisfying and fulfilling relationship. Without boundaries, relationships can quickly become unhealthy and toxic. Boundaries include not just physical but also emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of relationships.

The first step in setting healthy boundaries is to identify what one is comfortable with and what one is not. Then, one must clearly communicate one’s preferences to their partner. Setting boundaries for the first time may be difficult, but it is necessary for one’s well-being. Some examples of healthy boundaries include:

• Establishing parameters based on time, effort, and availability to avoid resentment.
• Establishing boundaries around communication that make both parties comfortable.
• Setting boundaries around personal space.
• Mutual trust and respect concerning emotions.

Create A Safe Space

Creating a safe space where both individuals respect and feel safe is crucial in building a healthy relationship. This happens when individuals create an environment of mutual trust, honesty, and vulnerability.

Ways of creating a safe space include:

• Expressing oneself in a non-judgmental and respectful way.
• Showing true interest and concern in each other’s lives.
• Making vulnerability a priority in the relationship.

Love with No Expectations

The most robust relationships are born out of genuine love and affection, not expectations or obligations. Setting expectations on others sets the bar too high and often leads to disappointment and resentment. It is essential to appreciate and accept the other person for who they are, allowing the relationship to grow organically.

Take Care of Your Relationship

Just as individuals take care of their physical and mental well-being, it is vital to care for the relationship. This requires time, effort, and patience, and some ways of doing so include:

• Talking about difficult parts of the relationship and confronting challenges together.
• Both individuals should actively work on keeping the relationship healthy.
• Remembering to have fun and enjoy shared laughter.
• Prioritizing the relationship and making each other feel valued and appreciated.

Building and maintaining a healthy relationship based on love without obligation is a continuous effort that requires regular reassessment and adjustment. By setting healthy boundaries, creating a safe space, and having no expectations for each other, individuals can create a lasting and fulfilling relationship. Take that first step, and embrace building a relationship that is fulfilling and long-lasting.