Be the Calm: Weather Any Storm in Your Relationship
Our relationships in life are a matter of personal choice that can bring along both joy and pain. Relationships have no instruction manual for perfection and require much more than just love and happiness. Being the calm in your relationship is one of the most crucial factors to survive any storm you may face together with your partner. In this article, we will define the meaning of being the calm in your relationship and explore strategies and techniques to achieve it.
What does it mean to be the calm?
Being the calm in your relationship means that you are a stable and steady presence for your partner, enabling you to navigate smoothly through challenging situations and conversations. The calm person is the one that remains centered, focused, and in control of their emotions, providing their partner with the necessary support and comfort. It does not necessarily mean that the calm person does not experience negative emotions or care less about their partner. However, they can control their emotions and deliberately respond in the face of difficult circumstances rather than reacting impulsively.
Why is being the calm important in relationships?
In the face of challenging situations, conflict, and negative emotions, it is natural to feel swept up and respond compulsively without mindful consideration. Without being centered and grounded, unconscious behavior can lead to damaging behavior detrimental to the relationship. Being the calm means that you can respond in a proactive, thought-through, and considerate way, which fosters healthy communication, understanding, and strengthens the relationship. Moreover, being the calm can diffuse the conflict, and impact the emotional stability of the other party positive way.
Strategies for being the calm:
If you are interested in being the calm in your relationship, there are several strategies and techniques to explore, and five of them are as follows:
- Practice mindfulness: Being mindful is the practice of being present and aware of your thoughts and emotions in the moment. It is beneficial in staying grounded and centered in challenging situations. Through regular mindfulness practice, you can gain control of your emotions and thoughtful response. One way to achieve mindfulness is through meditation. Create a quiet and solemn environment, breathe consciously, note your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Redirect your attention gently to your breath if caught up in thoughts. Gradually, you will notice an increase in present moment awareness and emotional control.
- Use “I” statements: “I” statements relate to personal thoughts, feelings, and emotions. They are less confrontational and defensive compared to “you” statements, which suggested accusations and negativity on the other person. “I” statements reduce tension and allow for open and honest communication between partners
- Take breaks: Taking a break from a conversation or situation enables the mind to regroup and gather thoughts and emotions before re-engaging. It is not about running away from issues, but a conscious effort towards problem-solving. If you are overwhelmed, inform your partner of your need to take a break and set a timeline for reconvening. During breaks, take time for self-care activities to restore emotional stability.
- Practice active listening: Active listening involves engaging with your partner and seeking to understand their perspective without interrupting or providing unwanted advice. Tips to achieve Active Listening include making eye contact, paraphrasing, and asking questions to empathize and clarify what they are saying.
- Prioritize self-care: Prioritizing self-care is an essential aspect of being the calm in your relationship. It involves taking care of emotional, physical, and mental health to support healthy and secure relationships. To prioritize self-care activities, ensure to pay attention to quality sleep, exercise, get good nutrition and do things that make you feel relaxed and happy, such as spending time with loved ones, engaging in hobbies, and practicing mindfulness.
Conclusion:
Being the calm in your relationship can positively impact your partner and fortify a strong, healthy, and secure relationship. It is necessary to regulate your emotions, practice active listening and prioritize self-care to support your partner through difficult situations. It is not about suppressing emotions or being a doormat, but a deliberate effort to respond in challenging situations intentionally and thoughtfully. Regular practice of these strategies can help you achieve calmness in your relationship and foster a deeper bond with your partner.